Things to ponder ...

Ever since I become a teacher, I feel that I've changed. I realise that any word I said would have an impact on the person who is listening, be it students or my colleagues or pple around me. So sometimes when I want to scold or express my unhappy thoughts, I would think twice. Because I know that once the demage is done, it's difficult to undo... I know. So sometimes if you find I'm suddenly not responding to you, my brain is actually thinking how to respond to you! Yes, I am bit slow at times. :)

However, sometimes (as a teacher), I would feel difficult to talk to some of the students. It seems like they're not listening. So end up feeling frustrating and demoralised at the end of the day.

Sometimes I wonder - is it because they don't understand my langauge? Or they don't get my instructions because too complicated? Or if they don't listen to their parents, why would they listen to another adult, who is me? They would think that I'm talking the same old thing to them. (is it?) Or perhaps their thoughts are not listened in the first place since young??? So, it becomes a habit to them that - no point to listen to others or tell others what they are thinking. Because it's simply no point?

Anyway, I've found out something quite interesting from a book. What do you think of this approach if next time a teacher / parent should say this to you, instead of punishment?

1. Express your feeling strongly - without attacking characters.
"I'm furious that my new saw was left outside to rust in the rain!"

2. State your Expectations
"I expect my tools to be returned after they've been borrowed."

3. Show the child how to make amends.
"What this saw needs now is a little steel wool and a lot of elbo grease."

4. Give the child a choice
"You can borrow my tools and return them, or you can give up the privilege of using them. You decide."

5. Take action.
Child: Why is the tool box locked?
Father: You tell me why.

6. Problem - solve
"What can we work out so that you can use my tools when you need them, and so that i'll be sure they are there when I need them?"

What do you think? Would you want your parents / teachers to use this approach on you? Tell me your feedback. :)