I'm a brightspark. Watch me shine.: June 2008

After reading a post in a blog, suddenly all the fond and the not - so - fond memories flash back.

It just like happened yesterday.

Everything happened so fast, ever since August 2005.

From the moment she fell down from the bed to rushed her to National University Hospital to waiting for 1.5hours outside Emergency Unit but no reply to the moment that she needed to be warded. And then waited for another 24hours before the Chief Doctor came down to the ward to LOOKed at her. Yes,really literally LOOKed at her... And only painkillers were given to a poor granny who fell down and fractured her right leg.

This is all within 48hours but there're more to come for the next 1 month.

Every night I would be on duty to take care of her. I needed to pour away her bowels from the bin on her bed to the toilet bowl. There're times I almost vomitted at the sight of the green liquid that was just puked out. I've to respond to her requests at 3am or 4am and sometimes I just wished that I couldn't hear her yelling or painful pleading from next door.

Every scream or cry was painful and unbearable to hear. I could silent my crying by covering myself with blanket almost every night, for fearing that my sister who was sleeping next to me could hear me. Whenever she screamed or appeared to be sleeping, I feared of losing her and had to shake her and make her wake up. Every night I prayed to God and wished that it was just a simple fracture on her left leg and a SIMPLE indigestion that explained her bloated stomach.

She was such a kind and generous old lady. Although she couldn't speak in English or Mandarin, she could communicate effectively to anybody. Indian men could understand her orders and gave her a cup of hot tea and prata immediately when the moment she seated in coffeeshop. Grandma from Beijiing complained to her about her daughter - in - law and my grandmd would lend her a listening ear at the void deck. When she bought food from wet market, no one would dare to cheat her money - because she was 1 of the oldest grandma in Clementi. Whenever the name "Hong Kong Pau Pau" was mentioned, (almost) the neighborhood in Clementi would know that is her. She had to go out to walk everyday, without fail, be it rain or shin. She was so active.
Everytime she snored, she would opern her mouth. My sisters and I would giggle and tickle her face until she woke up and broke into laughters.

For once she was such an active 86 years old grandma, she she had become bedridden. She couldn't move her arms or legs as much as she wished. She couldnt enjoy her favourite Tea as much as she would love to everyday. She couldnt cook for me and sister for dinner. She couldnt go anywhere she used to go.

And she couldnt witness my wedding!

She was supposed to witness my wedding and give her blessings to us on my Wedding Day. She was supposed to carry my children. I want her to carry her great - grandchildren.

Now, none of the above will happen.

There're endless nights I asked God why he's so cruel to give her this illness. She was so kind to everyone! She definitely didn't deserve this!

Everyday after work, I would go to the Nursing Home to visit her without fail. Doctor advised us to put her in Nursing Home as everyone in the house was working. No one could attend to her needs 24/7.

When I looked at her, she was so frail. She looked like a skelton with an opened mouth. Her lips were dry. But she couldnt drink much water or eat 'cos she would vomit anything. There're times she had hallucinations and I couldn't wake her up. She was in coma.

Cancerous cells were spreading in her body day by day.

Finally it came the day whereby she had difficulty in breathing. She had inhaled 2 tanks of oxygen. She was in coma again. No matter how hard I tried to wake her up, she didn't wake up. No matter how much we talked into her ears or shaked her body, she didn't move at all. No matter how much I cried, she couldnt hear.

She just stayed still on the bed.

It was 22Oct- the 1st day she arrived at this world and also her depature date.